Ricky Bobby vs. Sarah Stefanie

So what was better? Talledaga Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby or Eisenhower Nights: The Ballad of Sarah Stefanie?

There are three categories to compare:

1. Entertainment Value
2. Unintentional Comedy Scale
3. Future Predictability Quotient

Can real life ever approach a movie? People see movies to escape the daily grind of their lives. This is a mistake. And its wrong. It shows a distinct lack of imagination and energy. Zombie movies? Think tax time. Jennifer Aniston? Angelina Jolie? Piffle. Just marry a hottie like I did. Heh--all the loving I want for the price of a box of Goobers.

Anyway, entertainment value. I have a weakness for really dumb movies with random humor. I think Dumb and Dumber is a classic. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy was Ricky Bobby's predecessor:

Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct.

So yeah, I laughed hard at times. Chuckled at others. I liked Ricky Bobby's Whitesnake video reference, the reference to Tom Cruise when he thought he was on fire, his nasty little kids and I liked Ricky Bobby's dinner time prayer:

Ricky Bobby: Dear sweet Jesus God, thank you for my two sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, Ricky Bobby: And thank you for my sizzling hot wife.

Some pretty good laughs for about a $30 investment.

The Non-Date Date? For sheer entertainment value, the girls delivered. Our normally taciturn Sarah chattered like a little capuchin monkey on speed all the way to the Exchange. The Duck Principle was in full force here:

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck--then it's a duck! Two boys, two girls, a dinner, and a movie. Quack, quack, quack! It was actually funner to spy on Sarah/Stefanie at dinner than watching the movie: The beads of sweat on Francis' forehead as he tried to decide if he was in heaven or hell. Matt's hat-to-the-back look, like Vanilla Ice trying for street cred. Sarah's mouth open, great gobs of food visible like humpback whales off the coast and Stefanie trying for the Kate Moss hair-toss and actually hair-whipping the waitress when she stopped by for a tea refill.

Entertainment Value: Clear victory to Sarah/Stefanie. The Exchange cost me $22 and the laughs were better.

Unintentional Comedy: Dawn calling Sarah from across the Exchange to tell her that we could tell what she was eating from 75 feet away. Best unanticipated comedy bit from Ricky Bobby is when he sticks a knife in his own leg to prove that he is paralyzed. Edge goes to Ricky Bobby.

The FPQ is almost a draw. With any Will Ferrell movie, you know what you are going to get. Ricky Bobby. Ron Burgundy. Chazz Reinhold (from Wedding Crashers). Frank Ricard from Old School. With Sarah/Stefanie out, it's almost a certainty that whatever guy they are not-really-with-but-really-with, will be eclipsed by a major hottie that sits in close proximity to them and throws off their true north compass headings. You could almost feel Stefanie's fillings pulling out of her molars when a certain major tennis hottie sat behind her at the movie. Sarah began to swell up, her boobs like zeppelins at the airfield in Hamburg, poor Francis shrinking until he was the size of a small, weak kindergarten child. Matt oblivious to his total lack of street cred in the presence of blazing hot masculinity. Even though you know what you are going to get in a Will Ferrell movie, it's still not enough to overcome the sheer predictablity of a Sarah/Stefanie Non-Date Date. You can smell the smoke from the train wreck for miles. Clear edge to Sarah/Stefanie.

To recap: Entertainment Value--S/S, Unintentional Comedy--RB, Future Predictive Quotient--S/S. Clearly, the girls top Ricky Bobby for a night of pure pleasure.

I've just got to figure out a way to Neflix them.